The Desire for a Zero

For the past three days, I’ve been trying hard to write something—anything.

I wrote a few lines and stopped. Then tried again. And stopped.

This happened more times than I can count.

Restlessness crept in, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. Something inside me kept pushing.

Then, just a few hours ago, an odd idea came to me. It may sound silly, but for some reason, I’ve always wanted to say it out loud - I want to get a zero in an exam.

Yes, a zero. Not by accident, but deliberately.

Coming from an academic background, I’ve given countless exams—more than I care to remember. And although I’ve never been in favor of the exam culture, I’ve always played along.

Prepared. Performed. Passed.

But in all those years, one question has lingered in my mind - Have I ever tried to get a zero? Not out of incompetence. Not out of ignorance. But with full awareness—mind sharp, will strong—to walk into a test and give it nothing.

To resist the impulse to respond, to impress, to conform. To sit in silence while the world around you scribbles with urgency—that is a test of a different kind.

Getting a zero is not easy. In academics, it's a mountain.

Because to truly score zero, you have to resist everything you’ve been taught to value. Is it even possible?

In some ways, yes—especially if you're well-prepared. And maybe that’s the paradox: to get to zero, you must first know what it takes to get a hundred.

#OddIdea #Hundred #Zero #Paradox